What NOT to say to the TSA when being patted down.

If you choose to say anything below to a TSA agent while he/she (he-she?) are giving you a "pat down," "frisk," or "painfull memory," you do so at your own risk. I never told you to say such things. In fact, the title above says NOT to, so you are on your own. 

Are those a fresh pair of gloves?

If you take a picture, it'll last longer (x-ray only)

I should warn you, I'm a giggler.

A little more to the right.

My turn!

Can you tell I've been working out?

My, you have the hands of a pro.

Wheeeeeeeeeee!

If you buy me dinner, you can take the gloves off.

That's not a stick of dynamite, but, thank you for noticing.

Been out of prison long?

Bow chicka wow wow!

Should I turn my head and cough?

Slow down! What's your rush?

If I had known it would be you, I would've gone commando.

Now tell me you love me.

Does your mother know what you do?

You have beautiful eyes.

Next time, I'm asking for you.

Call me!